Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Greatest Sign Ever Made

My friend Christa spotted this beauty when she was at a recording studio here in Hong Kong. 

Goooooo Team!

Another expat milestone crossed off the list - I attended an international sporting event!  We went to see Chelsea (English soccer team) play Kitchee (Hong Kong soccer team) at Hong Kong Stadium.  While maybe not as exciting as eating hot pot in TST or haggling over DVDs and fake Vuitton bags in Shenzhen, it deserves a blog posting.

Rather than go into some long post about how hot it was (BEYOND; never sweated so much in my life; whole place smelled like a dirty gym sock) or how hard it was to use the British vernacular (it's football, not soccer; a pitch, not a field; and a match, not a game), I will share with you what we encountered at the concession stand.  We looked at the menu:

Five items.  I like a simple menu with a few, straight-forward choices.  And I was super psyched to see things like fried rice and Thai noodles on the menu next to the hot dogs and chicken nuggets.

Then we spotted these two signs hanging under the menu:

Fried Noodles Sold Out and Hot Dogs Sold Out.  Got it.

Then we looked to the right and spotted another two signs:

Chicken Nuggets Sold Out and Fried Rice Sold Out.

Of course.  Guess that leaves - let me see here...math has never been my strong suit....5-4 = 1, so just potato chips!

Did I mention this was BEFORE the game even started?!   

Monday, July 25, 2011

Proud Pussies

Admit it - you thought I was lying when I told you people here call cats pussies.  Or you thought I was exaggerating.  To those of you, I say have a look at a page from the recent issue of "The List":

"Cats do not groom themselves, they lick themselves."  Duly noted, sir.

There is a God

...and he watches NASCAR, possibly has a mullet and knows every word to "Sweet Home Alabama".  He's heard my pleas for some Diet Mountain Dew (my favorite soft drink ever and what my best friend - who's from Connecticut - calls my redneck soda) and finally decided to bestow some upon me.

Found these at Gateway (our Costco) yesterday!  My husband said (in a serious voice), "Should we take them all?"

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Reader Generated Content

Two friends recently gave me some good blog-worthy items that I'm about to share with you.  Does this mean I have contributors?!?!  I hope so; it makes me sound very important.

The first is a story with no visuals (THANK GOD!) from my friend Tiffany:

Tiffany is in the changing/locker room at our country club waiting for her daughter to finish using the restroom.  She sees a Chinese woman changing into her swimsuit and watches as the woman takes her used panty liner out of her underwear and lays it on the changing bench!  Then she proceeds to put her swimsuit on and put away her clothes - all while her bloody liner lays out in the open (not wrapped up in anything) on the bench!!!  There is no shame in her game...

The second is a picture of a sign posted on one of those kids ball pits (e.g. the kind you find at Chucky Cheese) from my friend Laura:

Check out Rule #2 - No sleeping in the ball pit!  No kidding.

And for the record, we are happy to receive any good pictures, stories, etc. that HK people find out there, so send away!

Fun with Food

Two food-related items for you...

1. My husband spotted this gem:

I'm 99% sure they were going for "chicken nuggets," but let's be honest - "chicken nagged" is so much better.

2. And we both came across this at the Western-oriented grocery store in our town:

Because nothing quenches your thirst quite like...vinegar!  And I love the tag line - "Not only do they taste good, but they are good for you packed with lots of nutrition."  Who's "they"??

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


Language differences and cultural differences are two, well, different things.  When someone doesn't hold the door for you, it's cultural.  When someone calls you and launches immediately into Cantonese even though you're screaming "No Cantonese.  English only," it's language.  A perfect shining example presented itself to me the other day...

There's a very fun couple in our neighborhood who we really like.  She's Malaysian, but speaks perfect English and is completely hip on what's happening in Western culture.  She could be any of my American friends except when things like this happen:

Me: How are you?
Her: Not feeling good.
Me: Oh no, what's wrong?
Her: I have very bad stomach pains with a lot of gas building up inside me.  (There were hand motions to indicate where the gas build-up was happening.)

This is more my style:

Me: How are you?
Her: Not feeling too hot.
Me: Oh no, what's wrong?
Her: Nothing crazy, just some tummy issues.
Her: Minor stomach ache.

My initial reaction was to be embarrassed by what was being shared.  Then I realized she wasn't embarrassed to tell me, so why should I be embarrassed to hear it?  I feel like this is the message behind that popular children's book "Everybody Poops".

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Kardashian World Domination Continues...

I have a real love/hate relationship with the Kardashian klan.  And it starts with the ridiculousness of their names all starting with a K.

Before moving to HK where TV is, excuse the repetition, ridiculous, I NEVER watched the Kardashians.  Never.  Didn't even think about it, ponder whether I should, allow my finger to hover over the "Channel Up" button while Kim appeared on screen, nothing.  In fact, I outwardly lamented to anyone who would listen that the world was coming to an end when people like Kim's ass and its familial relations were given airtime.  I had similar rants about Paris Hilton and The Hills cast.

Then I moved to HK and it rocketed to the top of my viewing list.  How can Courtney (I refuse to give into the K nonsense) stay with that douchebag?  Why doesn't anyone listen to Chloe, who seems to be the most level-headed in the bunch?  Is Rob a person or a prop and how did he escape the whole K name thing?  These became my inner thoughts which eventually turned into uttered complaints to my husband who just looked at me with pity.

I willed myself not to get hooked on the latest iteration of Kardashian insanity - I will NOT watch Khloe and Kourtney Take Miami.  I refuse to give into the fakeness that will be Khloe & Lamar.  Then I started to panic when I missed an episode.

Now I assumed that this was my own dirty little secret.  I am a woman, I used to work in the entertainment industry and I probably watch 40% more television than the average person.  Seems like the right ingredients for a Kardashian fan, no?  I'm sure none of our international expat friends watch this crap.

Cut to a fancy French steakhouse where I'm at a work dinner with my husband.  Surrounded by Morgan Stanley folks, I'm seated next to a proper Scottish man and the convo somehow turns to TV.  Turns out he also keeps up with the Kardashians and hates himself for it  - I used to just casually watch the show - a snippet here, a snippet there.  Now I find myself forming opinions on these people.  I knew something was wrong when I started saying things like, "That Lamar seems like a sensible chap."  I feel his pain.

On one hand, I'm happy to know that I'm not alone.  On the other hand, I am absolutely disgusted that Kris Jenner's master plan is working and Scottish men living in Hong Kong think she's a total bitch for making Bruce sleep in the garage.

M.I.A. in N.Y.C.

Hi all--

I have to apologize for going MIA on you once again.  Like most expat families in Hong Kong, we headed back to the homeland for four weeks.  I made plans for our apartment, our dog and our mail, but didn't give you folks any kind of heads up. Sometimes I forget that it's not just me, my best friend and a random Bangladeshi reading this blog.

Being home was delicious.  There's nothing like it.  While I maintain that New York City is still the greatest place on earth, I must also be honest.  This is what greeted me in SoHo:

This picture doesn't do justice to how ample the bum buttcrack on the corner of Houston and Broadway really was.  While snapping this picture, I took a moment to think about the people who are begging on the streets of Hong Kong.  Night and day, my friends.  Night and day.

I also spotted the NYC version of helpers in Union Square one day:

I hate to diss my own helpers (and Lyn if you're reading this, obviously I'm not talking about you, so please don't spit in my OJ!), but their NYC counterparts are killing them in the style department.  This last shot could've been pulled out of Vogue.

Anyway, I'm back to observing, ranting and musing on life here in Hong Kong and promise not to pull the shady Irish getaway on you again.