Sunday, June 5, 2011

Best Part of a Brunch

Yeah, the coffee's good and who can complain about an omelet with lots of cheese, but the real good stuff at a brunch is the conversation.  I know, I know - I can hear the "duh" coming through the computer.  Here are two conversation nuggets I got in today's brunch:

1. My friend who's a flight attendant works with a male flight attendant who's name used to be Noel (pronounced like the Christmas word; not like a man's name) Lopez.  He legally changed his name to Noel Sugarplum Fruitcake.  Seriously.  Next time you're flying United and someone with a "Fruitcake" name tag serves you, it's not a joke.  (Oh and he's American, so I can't even blame this one on some language issue.)

2. Another friend of mine saw an old Chinese lady standing outside of our grocery store wearing a t-shirt that read: "I am very shy, but I have a big dick."  Now *this* one I can blame on the language issue.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Paging Captain Obvious

To get to the swimming pool at our country club, you have to walk through the changing room and then this mini pool area, for lack of a better term.  I believe the thinking goes that by walking through this you are decontaminating your shoes before you hit the pool deck.  Because an outdoor pool deck filled with hundreds of people and kids is germ-free...

Hopefully the humor in placing a "Caution - Wet Floor" sign inside this pool is as obvious to you as it was to me.

Oh and the decontamination logic doesn't stop there!  The doorway-like space between the changing room and the decontamination pool area -- a doorway you HAVE TO walk through, has water coming down from the ceiling - as if you're in the shower.  Again, I think this piss-poor attempt at getting people "clean" before they get to the pool deck is laughable  Why? Because everyone hugs the wall when they walk through so that the shower water raining down from the ceiling doesn't get you wet.  You can't see the shower water in this pic - it's coming out of the white tube on the ceiling over the doorway.  The helper in the black shirt is likely getting wet in this picture.

Hong Kong logic at its best.

Does Ronald Know About This??

Walk into McDonald's and order a vanilla milkshake - apparently for the first time in the 2.5 years I've live here.  Here's how that went down:

Worker: Can I help you?
Me: Yes, one vanilla milkshake please
Worker: Chocolate or strawberry?
Me: Er, um, vanilla.
Worker: We don't sell vanilla; just chocolate or strawberry.
Me - sighing dramatically, closing up my wallet and walking out the door.

Can this possibly be true?  McDs doesn't sell vanilla milkshakes?  Isn't there a reason why they're vanilla, a.k.a. the most generic, popular flavor on the planet?! Is it maybe because nothing in Hong Kong makes sense??

Honestly, it's times like these I struggle with reality.  I look around and think, "Really?  This is really the freakin universe I live in?